Write out in precise detail what is making you angry, and why. Put it in letter form to your ex-wife and really tell her everything that has been, and is bothering you... Let her know that you are a person with wants and needs too... Stand in front of a mirror and "rehearse" an angry confrontation with your ex-wife and/or anyone else involved. Make an appointment with your priest or minister; or find a friend who'll listen as you explain the frustration, hurt and futility you feel.
Regardless of how you do it, it is an absolute necessity that you let it all out. This anger and bitterness you feel is like a poison that you must cleanse from your soul. The sooner you get rid of it, the sooner you'll be able to get on with your life - regain your mental health and position yourself for happiness.
Finally, there'll come a day when you'll no longer be bothered by thoughts of your ex-wife. It won't even bother you when you see her with another man, and that'll be the day when you've finally accepted the fact that you marriage to her is really over. You will have truly let go of her, and will be ready for a new try at real happiness.
Your progress from being rejected by your wife, to acceptance of the fact that you don't want her if she doesn't want you, and positioning yourself for a second chance, won't come easily. In fact, it will take you about two and a half to three years. You must understand the damage you've sustained, the healing that's required, and the time it's going to take to get well. Too often, men still in the recovery stages of a divorce, jump into a new marriage before they're ready. And when the "bomb explodes" the second time, the trauma is more painful and the recovery even harder than the first time.
It's imperative that you "cut yourself off" from you wife as quickly as possible. It's just as imperative that you immediately set about analyzing what it is you want out of life, what you need to do in order to get what it is you want, and then take the necessary steps towards achieving whatever it is you want.
First, you have to KNOW what it is you want. Then, you have to know what you HAVE TO DO in order to get what it is you want. And finally, you have to START MOVING in the necessary direction to end up with what you want. In other words, if you don't know what you want, nor how to get it, you'll be without purpose or direction in life.
This is ''goal-setting," and unless you set goals for yourself, you'll just be allowing yourself to be pushed through life by whatever happens next. Use this "terrible time in your life" as a time for introspection and a new start. think about yourself, and start taking the "baby-steps" necessary to making you proud of yourself. Stop mourning the loss of your marriage; pick yourself up, and determine within yourself that you're on your way to bigger and better things - total happiness and love!
