Life hurts and to EX in one’s own stomping grounds can be especially painful. Everywhere, like pigeon droppings, are memories of the good, bad, and indifferent times. However, if a geographic is not possible, don’t despair. A benefit of staying put is the potential of healing core relationship fallouts. Is it a broken picker always picking the wrong people? Growth is not for those who need it but for those who want it.
We all need to lick our wounds. The most effective way: long hand into wellness. Get on a writing diet. I should have when a musician/singer – looking back it was not even lust – borrowed my car and got lost. Instead, I beat myself into shame. EXile into writing: no more or less than 20 minutes when you first wake, no matter what. Forget grammar, it’s about dumping: fears, anger, shame, hope, faith, and dreams. I write to Dear Mother/Father God; you decide what’s comfortable.
EXpress by getting back into the arms, home life of a safe relative or friend. If all feel snuffed because you dropped them to couple – closed the smorgasbord, even when warned he wasn’t the dish, the one and only you thought you’d ever need - make amends or new friends. Not at bars unless you like walking on razor blades. Look for safe special interest groups. Take a creative class. Churches, synagogues, ashrams, etc. have gatherings and not just for piety. They come in all sizes, denominations, and locations. Clerics are also good for dumping on and changing focus.
EXplore your city as if you were a tourist: carefully if alone. Take baby steps. Sidewalk cafes, antique stores, libraries, bookstores, and the like. Sounds boring? Colleges and universities are good to keep off the ex and look for future exes. Want to push it up a notch? Get into caving, diving, climbing, or square dancing. Let go of dropping back into the norm. Find who you always wanted to be. http://www.exinthecity.com/main/guides.html
If your brake up was due to abuse, sex, food, or addictions - in your part, his or both - it might be time to EXorcise root causes. You don’t have to do it alone. Everywhere are anonymous meetings of all the programs with all kinds of people who will surround you, like barnacles, to steady you during your storm. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ or http://www.coda.org/index.php or http://www.aa.org/en_information_aa.cfm
