The first stage of healing after a relationship break-up normally finds you wanting to go into some kind of EXile. No matter how bad the relationship was when he’s finally gone you are devastated. You are living in your own private hell and don’t feel like getting out of bed, let alone leaving the house. The thought of taking out the garbage is overwhelming. Welcome to EXile! Here are some tips to help you survive:
Dark sunglasses: your new best friend.
You WILL cry – A LOT. So, your number one purchase should be a pair of very dark sunglasses. Live in them. Feel like an exotic and wounded creature that needs protection from the bright lights of reality. It’s really ok. You will cry all the time and that too will pass. At some point you’ll realize there’s a world around you that you love, people who care, maybe even a future.
Don’t make ANY big decisions.
In Exile you feel so alone and vulnerable. You can’t sleep for longer than a few hours and you are still fantasizing about re-uniting with your ex (even if you won’t admit it). My advice is not to make decisions and to not expect any concentration or clarity of mind. A friend once advised me that this is the time to firmly put the oxygen mask on and to breathe. Don’t take it off to help anyone else until you are feeling stronger yourself.
Put future plans on hold.
Try not to make commitments and don’t buy tickets to events. YOU WON’T GO. Trust me on this. I booked massage sessions, volunteer sessions, concert tickets (and if you think missing a concert with Tina Turner is an easy thing) – well it just shows how much of a complete and utter hermit you want to be in this stage of “EX”.
Important safety tips.
Try not to start smoking if you can help it. Avoid drinking excessively – you will just feel worse. As a general rule, refuse to indulge in any addictions because trust me you’ll have absolutely no self control to quit!!
